


we'll go deeper than the ink

by sky_blue_hightops



Series: Sun and Moon AU [8]
Category: Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon), Tangled (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Brother Feels, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Moon Powers Varian (Disney), Nightmares, Protective Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider, Team Awesome (Disney: Tangled), The Dark Kingdom (Disney: Tangled)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:14:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26291698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sky_blue_hightops/pseuds/sky_blue_hightops
Summary: The campfire blazes bright in the silence and he can’t breathe.It’s a haze, to Varian, how they’d left - stranded in the empty space outside the castle walls. Days from the home he’d just begun to accept after years of refusing to let go of his old one. Asleep in someone’s arms, a steady yet nervous gait under him, a gentle hand in his hair - he’d been through this before.***Or, the boys right after they leave the Dark Kingdom.
Relationships: Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider & Varian
Series: Sun and Moon AU [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1823434
Comments: 5
Kudos: 89





	we'll go deeper than the ink

The campfire blazes bright in the silence and he can’t breathe.

It’s a haze, to Varian, how they’d left - stranded in the empty space outside the castle walls. Days from the home he’d just begun to accept after years of refusing to let go of his old one. Asleep in someone’s arms, a steady yet nervous gait under him, a gentle hand in his hair - he’d been through this before. He’d had to leave what he’d known before, and still knew that uncertainty even if he barely remembered the _hows_ and _whys_.

The first time, he’d left behind his mom. The second time, he’d left behind his dad.

_The sky is bright above them when Varian wakes. His shoulder is warm, exposed to the sunlight where the cloak fell away, and next thing he knows it’s been tucked closer around his neck. His own hands clutch fabric. He thinks he makes a noise; his throat is rough and painful, his head fuzzy. Fingers brush his cheek, a palm smoothes across his temple. “Varian?”_

_He knows the voice in his ear. “‘Gene,” he whispers, and reflexively tightens his grip on his brother’s shirt. “Where ‘re we?”_

_“We...left.” Eugene sounds hesitant and far from certain. It takes Varian a moment to understand - left where?_

_Then he realizes he’s never been this warm in years, and lifts his head off Eugene’s shoulder to look around. There’s nothing for as far as he can see. Dry grass, pale sky. It’s the most wide-open space he’s encountered since he and Dad came back. There are no walls. No echoing chambers, no tight hallways, no stone staircases, no firmly-shut doors and no hall closet hiding spots. They_ left _. “...’re we goin’?”_

_“Far away,” is the quick reply. Determined. Final. But what about Dad? What about his training? Why would they send him away with only Eugene? If...if he’d finally failed too much to stay, wouldn’t it be Dad who had to come too?_

_He feels too hot, all of a sudden, caught between relief and fear. He isn’t pressured, out here with only Eugene for company. If they’ve finally sent him away it means he doesn’t have to worry about ruining things anymore. But he’s never been anywhere without Dad before, and he doesn’t want to. “I’m sorry-” And there are tears in his eyes, little pricks of cold. A familiar feeling. “I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry!” He doesn’t know exactly what he’s apologizing for, but then - he never has._

_Eugene’s voice breaks when he finally speaks. “You didn’t do anything wrong, okay? They didn’t send us away. I brought us out here. Varian, we_ had _to.” He’s so convinced that Varian believes him at first. But Dad doesn’t appear on the horizon that encircles them, pens them in, and fear wins out over the relief. He shifts, once, testing Eugene’s hold - his brother’s arms tighten but it’s to keep them from overbalancing, and Varian full-on struggles, squirming out of his grip. “What-”_

_“We have to go back!” He hits the ground running; or, he would if his legs didn’t immediately give out under him. Eugene manages to keep him from falling on his face, hands grabbing his shoulders and eyes wide with confusion. “I can do better, I can make this better,_ please, _Eugene, please!”_

_His brother seems torn, unable to force out any words that could make sense of what’s happened or how much their lives have changed overnight. Doesn’t he see? They can still go back and fix this. It’s only been a few hours, and after the most exhausting training session of his life, too - they’ll most likely have a few calm days to recover. He can curl up in his bed. He can avoid notice during the days and find Eugene in the nights. Or even - and Varian’s chest_ hurts _with how much he misses his dad, wants to hide in his arms and never come out. “I want Dad!”_

_It’s horrifying, watching the tears well up in Eugene’s eyes and watching the loss and confusion swirling in his own heart reflect on the face of… of someone who’s always been solid when he wasn’t, someone who’s always known what to do when he hasn’t. “I do too,” Eugene says, and his hands shake where they’re still clamped on Varian’s arms. “But we_ can’t _. It was killing you, I couldn’t just let that happen!”_

_“I’ll…” Varian twists the hem of his sleeve aggressively, throat burning. “I’ll get stronger than it. I swear, I will! I’ll work harder, try more…” He doesn’t know what he’s saying anymore, but at this point he’d say whatever it took to go home._

_Home? Hardly. But it is the place he has lived the longest. It is the place with all the people he has loved the most. And the grass is so brittle under his feet, lifeless, and Eugene is so heartbroken above him, set in his beliefs. Varian can’t run away from someone controlling his path only to escape with another just like him; the brown eyes he meets now are alight with determination (fiery; close enough to the king’s that they might as well be the same) and not the gentle ones he has come to love. He barely recognizes them. He doesn’t want to._

_Then Eugene blinks, and his tone goes soft in that way that always makes Varian feel safe. “I know you can, kiddo. It just - it won’t ever be enough for him. I know you know that.”_

_Varian knows that. But he doesn’t think he will ever understand it._

Eugene sleeps in a loose curl on the other side of the fire. Varian wants to close the distance, wriggle under one of his outstretched arms and doze off like they’ve done countless nights before. He misses his brother. But ever since they left, it feels like he doesn’t...quite know how they fit together anymore. It feels like part of the trust they’d used to share fractured somehow; damaged in their flight from the castle and left to fester since.

It’s the worst feeling yet, missing someone who’s right by your side. Looking at hands that have held you and not knowing why they seem so unfamiliar. He shifts, lays on his side and stares directly into the dying flames.

A broken sound interrupts his thoughts. “Eugene?” He hisses, but there’s no reply, just more quiet cries. He scrapes his knees against the ground in his efforts to get up fast enough. Grit grinds harsh under his palms as he scoots forwards until he’s hovering over Eugene, who hugs himself and rolls over so his face illuminates under the firelight. His cheeks glisten from tears, and Varian halts for a second. He doesn’t know what to do. _He doesn’t know what to do_.

“No, no…” Eugene’s mumbles are faint but strong, holding an edge that makes them desperate demands rather than pleas. Varian knows that edge, hears it every time his brother stands up for him. Stood up for him? The thought aches. “Not him, you can’t- I _won’t_. I won’t go!”

Varian’s blood runs cold. “It’s okay, you don’t have to; it’s okay,” he says, but it falls on deaf ears. Horror creeps up his spine. Go? _They’d wanted to take him away_?

Everything clicks into place. Eugene’s desperation; his insistence that there’s no other way. The sudden escape, even without asking Varian first. His fear; the cornered look in his eyes whenever Varian asks _why, why, why?_

“I’m not leaving you,” Varian whispers. “Not ever.” It hurts, the thought of leaving his dad behind. But it’s only been a few days and some of the weight has visibly lifted from Eugene’s shoulders (from Varian’s own, too, because with every step the call of the opal fades that much more, because in leaving behind the castle they left behind those who would take and take from him and spare nothing that meant anything).

It stings to finally realize that this truly is the best for both of them - but out here, they can stay with each other no matter what.

Varian reaches out numbly, wiping the tears from Eugene’s face and feeling the tension bleed away under his palm. “I love you.” It’s said quietly, like it always is, but that doesn’t make it any less. Varian tugs at Eugene’s arm, shifting from his kneel to lay down beside him.

He won’t stop missing his dad, but for now he plays quietly with Eugene’s fingers, feels the warmth from the fire at his front and from his brother at his back, and thinks these hands were never unfamiliar at all - just lost. Only for a short while.

_I’ll always find you_ , he thinks. Eugene may hold him, support and protect him, but Varian will be his anchor. They’ll figure this out together; what it means to be _Eugene and Varian_ out here where they can be whatever they want. They’ll figure out what they mean to each other. What they can do in the world.

It’s the first time he sleeps soundly since they left.

**Author's Note:**

> they get sad and then they get better!!! sometimes things hurt more than they should to leave behind


End file.
